SHE'S HERE!!!
Emma Claire Savage
Born on February 13, 2017 at 10:40 am
6 pounds 5 ounces, 18 inches long
I can't believe we are at the point where I am sitting down to write out her birth story! In many ways I feel like my pregnancy just completely flew by. In some ways I feel like I have been pregnant forever because I kind of feel like I have been pregnant since January rather than May, but overall it has gone by very fast. And really, I am very, very much in love with this new little life.
I have been having a feeling for several weeks that I wouldn't make it to my due date. Somehow, I don't really know how, I just knew. I even changed around my shifts at work, meaning that I worked 72 hours in 7 days, which was really rough on both me and and Colton, but it just felt like the right thing to do. So we switched it all around and I worked. I had my 39 week appointment on Thursday, and once again decided not to get checked. I still had three shifts left and I think knowing I was dilated would make me too stressed out to handle it. I pretty much just spent every minute praying that I could make it though all my shifts and not go into labor at work. My mom was in training on Sunday and so we were praying a little extra that she would wait until Sunday evening.
I made it through my last shift on Saturday actually feeling pretty good. Sunday I just felt pressure to make sure we were ready. I think I knew it was coming. So we made sure that the whole house was clean and all of the last minute chores that I wanted done were taken care of. I took belly pictures even though it wasn't a day I normally would, made Colton paint my toenails (I wanted to get a pedicure on Monday if I was still pregnant but decided to have him paint them anyway) and snuggled Elli a little longer in her bed than I usually do. We went to bed a little late but I fell right to sleep.
I woke up about 3-330 in the morning starting to have contractions. I think then I knew that this was going to be it, but I timed them for awhile anyway. After about 45 minutes I decided they weren't going away and so I got up and dressed and hung out for awhile. I woke Colton up at about 530 and he called his mom to come over with Elli and jumped in the shower. Jill got there and we headed to the hospital. It kind of broke my heart to leave while Elli was still asleep knowing that this was most likely my very last moments with her as my only baby. But we got to the hospital around 630. Since I was group B strep positive and needed antibiotics they just basically admitted me before they even checked me. I was checked at about 7 and was dilated to 4.5 cm and about 70% effaced. They hooked me up to the monitors and started my IV antibiotics, and my mom started over as well.
Just before 8 Dr Gatherum came in, checked me again, broke my water, and placed an internal contraction monitor (which was seriously the most annoying thing ever). I was sadly still at only a 4.5 and not any further effaced. My contractions were a little less consistent at this point so I wasn't horribly upset yet by that but a little disappointed that nothing had happened yet. My mom got there just after that and I just worked on getting through contractions and joked around with her.
By 9 my contractions were getting a little more painful, if not any closer together. They checked me again and super disappointing, I was still sitting at only 4.5 cm. We were going to try walking around to see if they could get things going more but at that point they decided to start me on a very low dose of pitocin to see if they could get me to dilate any more. I really wanted to have this baby without an epidural, but I have to admit at that point I was seriously considering getting one because I was so disappointed that nothing had really happened yet and all of the painful contractions I had been having weren't doing anything. I just wasn't sure I wanted to be doing that for hours and hours on end, especially with all the horror stories I have heard about pitocin contractions. They got the pitocin set up and started running it at about 930 (the exact timeline is a little hazy for me because it felt like I was on pitocin forever!).
Once they started the pitocin things started into a whole new level. My contractions immediately went to two minutes apart and a whole different world of painful. After each one I was dizzy, hot, sweaty, and nauseous. I even threw up after one of the first ones (which was awful). They got me a fan and Colton kept an ice cold wash cloth on my face which really helped but it was horrible. With each one I was seriously almost crying wondering why I had done this to myself and asking if I was going to get through it. My mom, Colton, and the nurse were awesome though at talking me through it, telling me to tell myself that I can do it and telling me when my contractions were peaking so I knew they were about over. My next dose of antibiotics was due at 11, so at maybe 1030, maybe a little before I'm not quite sure, the nurse was going to check me again because my contractions were so close. Before she did I asked to go to the bathroom. After making sure that I just needed to urinate and that I didn't feel any urge to push, which I didn't at that point, we decided that I would go to the bathroom and then she would check me. I was determined when she checked me that if I hadn't made significant progress that I was going to ask for an epidural because it was definitely not easy.
I got up and into the bathroom, sat down and had another contraction. And with that contraction, suddenly my body was pushing and I couldn't make it stop. The nurse ran out the door, shouted for another nurse and then her and Colton basically pulled me standing and the nurse checked my cervix while I was standing. She quickly said I was complete, and rushed me back into bed while the other nurse called my doctor.
I suddenly found myself in bed, yelling and screaming like I don't think I ever have before in my entire life. It was the most bizarre sensation and so different than anything I have ever experienced before in my life, definitely a whole different experience than when Elli was born. The nurses were trying to get me to not push so the doctor had time to get there and get ready but I literally was not capable of stopping it. My body was pushing despite anything I did.
They talk about the ring of fire when the baby is crowning. I most definitely experienced that this delivery, and yelled quite loudly at the doctor about it because to me it felt like whatever he was doing was making it worse. And honestly everything else is kind of a blur. I couldn't tell you how many times I pushed because none of my pushes were coordinated or anything, my body just did what it did. Then the doctor finally got my attention enough to tell me that her head was out and that I needed to look.
So I finally looked down and there she was. My little baby. And she was tiny. I believe that is the first thing I actually said was "She's so small, how big is she." and then she was out and on my chest and it was a different feeling than I've ever experienced before. I've been so worried about bonding with this baby. I haven't felt anything really during my pregnancy that was like with Elli and I have been worried about being able to love another baby as much as I do Elli, but in that moment I didn't really worry anymore. Suddenly she was mine, my beautiful tiny little girl. I held her for quite awhile while they cleaned her up, cut the cord and stitched me up and then they took her to clean her up.
It was an insane labor, I didn't honestly realize the timeline or how fast everything happened until later that day when my brother told me about the texts he had received about it. I'm super grateful that it was quick because it certainly was plenty painful even during that short time. It's funny though, for some reason, in my head, a natural delivery would be a more peaceful one. This definitely wasn't peaceful, by any means, and I think everyone, myself included saw a side of me that no one has ever seen before, but it was definitely empowering and an amazing experience to get to feel my body doing what it was made for without any direct control from me. And we are all so incredibly happy that she's here. I think Colton said it best, it doesn't really feel different, it just feels like she fit into a niche in our family that we didn't know was there needing to be filled.
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